MS Cinema
If Microsoft made movies

We all know how the lawyers of Microsoft learned their lessons on the low budget video market (Remember the Anti trust lawsuit?).
This leads us to what movies will look like after Bill Gates seized power in Hollywood...

  • You wouldn't be able to eat popcorn, drink coke and watch the movie at the same time.
  • Every time the popcorn machine works or soft drinks and refreshments are sold, the movie would stop.
  • Microsoft would announce the next version of the movie. Even colorblind people would be able to see the colors and deaf-mute people would be able to hear it and discuss it afterwards.
  • The movie would stop every 15 minutes and during the most important scenes.
  • Microsoft would constantly praise the new color and sound technology, regardless of the long time every other studio had used them before.
  • Every movie would need a new projector.
  • The projector would fake showing 32mm movies. Actually it would only enlarge 16mm movies to make them look like 32mm.
  • Microsoft would pose as inventors of the comedy.
  • Microsoft would announce some action adventure thriller starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Uma Thurman. Some three years later the movie would but be some lame love tragedy starring Patrick Swayzey and Meryl Streep.
  • The projectors would be equipped with RESET buttons. You would have to start the movie over and over again in order to see it completely.
  • 640 Seconds? Please, anybody who would like to see some longer movie?



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