Jeder kennt sie, die Flut der weitergeleiten Email-Kettenbriefe. Ob es um den "Good
times"-Virus, um die Möglichkeit, beim Surfen Geld zu verdienen oder um neue
Bezugsquellen für Viagra und ähnliches geht.
Wie kann man sich dagegen zur Wehr setzen? Man könnte Spamfilter einbauen, ein
Mailbombing starten oder für immer vom Netz gehen... oder einfach das tun, was
Basmati Kasaar getan hat: nämlich eine solche Antwort schreiben und sie an alle
Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar.
I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases,
poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal
electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me
by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6-year-old girl in
Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed
before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email
to $1000? How stupid are you? "Ooooh, lookyhere! If I scroll down this page and make a wish,
I'l get laid by every Playboy model in the magazine!" What a bunch of bullshit.
So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing
better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter
leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the
chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims
on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book
of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. If you're going to
forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing.
I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse
for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about
90 times. I don't care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless
or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss
people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's
been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per letter
he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right?
Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will
turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.